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07.15.04

Purple States, Unite!

I just took Slate's "red-blue" quiz, designed to test where you best fit in divided and color-coded America, and I'm pretty pleased with the outcome:

You are in the middle

I want to think this is a reflection of my growing feeling of disdain for two political extremes (though one remains far more repellent than the other) and the nagging sense that we've all got to stop swallowing simplistic party-line bullpie* and start sorting rationally through true complexities if we're going to solve anything. But the truth is, it probably just reflects my spending most of my life in Kentucky before fleeing to California. Or that I'm interested enough in the entire national subtext** to know what both Door County and Whole Foods are. Without having been in either.

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* A red-state word if ever there was one.

** A blue-state word if ever there was one.

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07.11.04

Bad Websites on Parade; Or, "You Can't Leave the Group"

02:15 PM

I stumbled onto the Trail of Scary Web Things when I went looking for more places to post our casting call.

First there was a local casting site which, while I'm told it's a useful resource, really needs some design help. Besides being disorganized, the site frequently provides unhelpful reminders to REFRESH YOUR PAGES! and Scroll down to read this entire page – although sometimes, as on the home page, this note is at ... the bottom of the page.

One forlorn site that claimed to have listings had only five, going back three years. The oldest, from June 2001, was on top. It reads as follows (and everything, sadly, is sic):

I AM INTERESTED IN ANY ACTING ROLL. I AM A FRESH FACE WITH NO EXPERIENCE. I AM 19 YEARS OLD WITH BLONDE HAIR AND BROWN EYES. I WEIGH 1O8 LBS. AND MY HEIGHT IS FIVE FOOT TWO INCHES. YOU CAN EMAIL ME AT [Hotmail address based on the fact that she turned 18 in 2000] or visit my website
http://00hotgirl.homestead.com/brooke~ns4.html

Follow that link. If you dare. I'm not going to link it for you. I don't want to be Google-yoked to her in anyway. So you'll have to copy and paste it yourself.

You know you want to. But warn your eyes. It will hurt them.

Ooh, she's 21 now! Clearly, she likes kitties. I think we can all see where her acting aspirations lie. And what's with the counter at the bottom marking the time that has passed since – what? Her most recent deflowering?

Follow her links and you'll see she has a hot male friend, Brodie. I like the way they made three "photo galleries" out of the one short roll of film someone shot in his backyard.

Things get weirder if you go to Brooke's guestbook. Here you'll find, among other dubious things, this desperate, cultish plea:

it concerns me that you have forgotten the group! you will never be out of the group. doesn't matter if you are with me or brodie. anyone in the group! you can't leave the group. i still know you so well. remeber that letter i wrote you? i know you still have it, read it sometime. you are my soulmate, no matter who you are with. no one will ever know you like me. no one. i may be with someone else, but she is in the group. don't let the group down and you will always have the group. you left me. anytime you say it's time to get back together, we will. i am waiting, don't let us down. do you remember when we laid in our bed talking about moving to florida? and we know more about eachother than anyone. you can't change destiny. don't even try. he will never know you like i do, inside and out, past, present, and future. you are still so predictable. you wanted out so bad that you went to someone that you don't belong with thinking it would help. but you can't fight who you are. now am i kerry? or am i just someone who knows too much? you decide! regardless the group will have you back, we are already working on it.

I do give the stalker points for knowing not to say "irregardless." And I kind of like that bit near the end as a Democratic presidential campaign slogan: