'Bred Crumbs

Nettrix

It begins. Now that Netflix has gotten its hooks into everyone, it's time to raise the prices (link to press release PDF).

"Over the past four years Netflix has created the premier online DVD rental service and transformed the home entertainment experience of nearly two million members," said [founder and CEO] Mr. [Reed] Hastings. "We want to thank all those customers for their support by demanding more of their money."

OK, I made up that last sentence. He really said: "As we continue investments in this service, we are changing its price to reflect the robust offering we provide and the inherent value of that service." But really, that's hardly different, is it?

Sure, the increase is just $2 a month, and the company claims the extra income will be put to use to fatten its new-releases stockpile (which might cheer anyone on the waiting list for Kill Bill Part Un). Still, after a year of aggressive campaigns to add new members, the rate hike has a bait-and-switch, the-first-hit-is-free feel to it. Is Netflix aspiring to be a cable company or something?

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Uninteresting Development

There are plenty of signs that network TV is rocketing downhill: the ratings, American Idol, the shame spiral of reality shows, NBC's overwrought promos – the list goes on. But the strongest indicator is that the show critics will not shut up about this season is a preciously constructed but badly made attempt at comedy.

It's called Arrested Development. It's about a family's involvement in a real-estate corporation, and it's every bit as enjoyable as that sounds.

The party line on this pet project of Ron Howard is that it's unique and full of off-the-wall characters. Well, unique it is, but there's a reason comedies aren't built like this: they aren't funny this way. And the characters are zany in the way of characters in the really, really sad sketches that pad out the last half-hour of Saturday Night Live. They are creations of desperation. The writers want to you like them for being weird, not for being amusing or appealing or even slightly interesting.

All that's wrong with the show can be heard in one voice: that of Ron Howard himself. Each episode is narrated by him. Incessantly. It's not enough for the show to cut from one scene to another; Richie has to tell you they're changing scenes. Besides becoming quickly irritating in and of itself, this reliance on narration shows that the producers have no idea how to tell a story, or are just too lazy to bother. And in spite of Opie's constant yammering, you're still gonna have a rocky time figuring how who's who in the needlessly gigantic cast. (If you can't create engaging characters, just create a lot of them!) This show makes Tolkien genealogy look like flash cards.

In tonight's episode, my first sample since the serie's unintriguing debut, there were a couple of gags that ought to have been funny, involving a cage designated as a "free speech" zone for anti-war protesters, a nice satirical foundation that could have been built into something hilarious. But the whole subplot was shot from a distance, with gratuitously shaky, faux-documentary camerawork. If the producers had intended to drain all the humor from the jokes, they couldn't have done a better job.

Though they did later. At episode's end, a small plot twist that could have been humorously surprising (and, for this show, surprisingly humorous) was given away by the narration before the punch line was even set up.

For some reason Fox, notorious for its instant dumping of shows with supposed potential, has stuck with this one all season. But if it goes under, its fans don't get to blame scheduling or lack of promotion. They shouldn't need Ron Howard to explain the obvious: most people aren't watching Arrested Development because it's just not that entertaining.

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