'Bred Crumbs

Somebody's Probably Already Said It, and No One Should, But I Cannot Be Stopped

The National Cabal of Nutritionists, or whatever the hell they call themselves, have issued their latest random edict about what people should and shouldn't eat. But, now more than ever, their report should be taken with a grain of salt.

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Link via Dewayne.

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The Political Compass Revisited

"9/11 changed me," says former comedian Dennis Miller. "Quite frankly I'm shocked that it apparently didn't change everyone out there."

For Miller, whose career has spiraled downward all the way to CNBC, the only possible change is change like his. So I wondered: how have the past two and a half years affected my political compass?

In July 2001, I took an online quiz that offers a measure of just that. Rather than plot you on a traditional left-right line, the Political Compass maps you to two dimensions: economic left-right, and social authoritarian-libertarian.

I took the test again, and the outcome surprised me. If anything, I expected a slight upward or rightward shift. Instead, according to the test, I have barreled farther toward the left, while holding firm at mostly libertarian.

Could be. I do have this growing suspicion that the rise of the megacorporation is creating not only shoddy products, but also a shoddy society. And it seems to me a lot of the world's hatred of America stems from our economic imperialism. (Then again, our country has no monopoly on that. Plus, it's not all about economics; the U.S.A. gives the world plenty of other reasons for disdain. The Super Bowl boobie controversy alone nearly doubled the nation's collective stupidity.)

Even if I do distrust utter capitalism and a stockholder-centric economy, I'm not anywhere close to battling the tear gas at WTO protests. I don't even give the time of day to the socialists that often crowd the corners of 16th and Mission. Do I believe what I say I believe? Can I possibly, given my work and my life, and my relative contentment therewith?

And in the end, do answers to broad questions really reveal anything? For example, one of the positions for consideration in the Political Compass test is:

Abstract art that doesn't represent anything shouldn't be considered art at all.

I marked "Disagree." I'm a pretty damn literal person, but even I know there's a place for the random, the non-linear, the serendipitous.

However, if you hang a blank canvas in a museum and tout it as art, I'm gonna mock your ass.

So maybe in a world of raw ideas, I'm a semi-leftist-libertarian. But in this world, the compass is still wobbly.

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On the Streets Where Once Was Pity

In lieu of the complaining that's filled this space of late, let's let some air and light in. Today served up the year's first taste of spring, clear and beautiful and a little warm. Work was pretty good for a Monday, and even the troublesome Quizno's processed my lunch order without a hitch. And, save for the inevitable jerkwad trying to cut line at the ECF*, even the traffic seemed more cooperative.

At dinnertime, wanting to frolic in the evening, I eagerly volunteered to sweep the Triple Crown of deliciousness: picking up Thai food for Robbie, Indian for me, and Ben & Jerry's from the well-stocked mini-mart, all within a block of home. Ben & Jer (so much more appetizing than that similarly named famous couple we're all finally done with) is really in our good graces lately. It may be owned by a heartless multinational corporation, but it just brought Robbie's favorite flavor, Vanilla Caramel Fudge, back from the dead. Plus, the Chocolate Fudge Brownie yogurt has been repackaged so it doesn't look exactly like the Chocolate Fudge Brownie ice cream, no doubt rescuing millions from taste-bud-violating purchasing errors.

How good is my mood? Let's put it this way: I'm writing most of this entry for the second time, after my machine blue-screened when I was nearly done the first time. WinXP, Mozilla, and my keyboard may continue their vile techno-dance of mutually assured destruction, but they will not sully my spirits.

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* The Emeryville Cluster F*ck, an unholy convergence of freeways and mall spew that clots I-80 just before the Bay Bridge.

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Are We Bugging You? We're Not Re-registering You

I did my taxes yesterday, and after I installed my tax software, I went through the product registration bit. Why? I don't know. Often, my inner sheep takes over and I just have to do what products tell me to. Though my inner wolf wouldn't let me answer any of the survey questions.

After I sent the registration off via the Internet, I was greeted by this maddening screen:

The message reads:

Please Note: The program may ask you to Register several times. Please ignore these registration reminders and simply click "Cancel" each time this occurs. On the fourth reminder, click the "Never Register" button to disable future registration reminders.

So, not only does the program not know that you've already registered, even though you used the program to do so; it also makes you endure the nagging three times before giving you a way to escape it. And sure enough, as promised, I got the registration reminder as soon as I started to use the software.

You've taught me a valuable lesson, Tax Preparation Company. Registration is for chumps.

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