'Bred Crumbs

Caesar, You Fools

This has been one Romanesque day on the tube:

• TNT played its miniseries Caesar for the 85th time.
• In a brilliant bit of ad placement, numerous commercial breaks in Caesar were led off by Taco Bell's ads for its Caesar wrap. (Sadly, no one thought to include the tag line "Got stabbing hunger pains?")
• Meanwhile, AMC's Planet of the Apes marathon showed us the adventures of the talking chimp named ... Caesar.
• And during the bit of syndicated background noise called Starhunter, a code was named "Crossing the Rubicon." Hey, close enough for Canadian TV.

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Pride Sandwich

For Pride last weekend, I was going to write something about an epiphany I had a few days earlier regarding being gay vs. being "queer," acceptance vs. uniqueness, celebration vs. activism, and the lingering dangers of the paranoid, rabid-when-cornered far right vs. the new threats of the insolent, determined-to-be-unhappy fringe left. But I never really found the oomph to finish it.

So then I figured I'd tie it all into a Fourth of July essay about reminding myself of the plentiful good that remains in America despite recent events, actions, and attitudes – of finding a way to again feel as much pride on the Fourth as I do at Pride, and how altogether appropriate it is that the two holidays fall so close together, especially this year. But I couldn't work up any more interest in writing that than you would have in reading it.

Instead, I'll just tell you what I did to celebrate this Fourth: for the first time in my life, I made chicken salad, an all-American dish. But I took the liberty, if you will, of altering the ingredients, thus asserting the individuality and freedom this country is supposed to be all about.

I'd share the recipe, but it's not quite where I want it yet. Maybe next Fourth of July.

Or, if I can find some way to make it gay, next Pride.

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Not So Amazing, Not So Race

OK, here's why, even though it's easily the least appalling "reality" show since 2000, I can't become a devotee of The Amazing Race:

• There is no race. Here's what I mean: tonight, the infamous (though for what I'm not honestly sure) Reichen and Chip took a calculated risk and chose a different connection to the next city than everyone else did. It worked, and they arrived way ahead of the rest. But the next mission was at a place that didn't open for business until nine hours later, and by the time it did all the contestants were piled up at the gate. I understand that letting anyone get too far ahead or behind would diminish the drama, but come on. They might as well just choose the winners and losers randomly at the end of each episode.
• All the backbiting and complaining elevates my stress level. Don't need that this millennium.
• Too many Steves.
• Too many Daves.
• Wavering accents: the host should either be Australian or not.
• I can't get past the fact that about a third of any given episode consists of people hanging around at airport counters. By no measure is this entertaining.
• In any unscripted show these days, half the cast at some point acts surprised and appalled by something they must do or endure. Um, maybe you should have watched or inquired about the show before you signed up.
• There are clowns.

Still, it's one of the only two watchable programs on at that time. And Taiji Prodigy ends in a couple weeks.

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Eating Out

I can't find confirmation or even mention of it anywhere, so I'll just pose it as a question, gossip-style: Is that an out gay ex-NFL player singing in a Chilis commercial?

If so, it would go a long way to offset that whole "baby back" annoyance. Not all the way, but a lot of the way.

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