'Bred Crumbs

09:59 PM The print and commercial images from the forthcoming TV series Smallville of young, shirtless Clark "Superman" Kent tied to a wooden rail in a cornfield are, on the one hand, hot, and on the other, disturbing.

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I could explain the context, but it's more fun to just say that watching a commercial caused these words to come out of Robbie's mouth:

"Some sort of powerful baby construction camp."

Is it any wonder I adore him?

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07:32 PM At a time when rhetoric looms large*, the United States has a commander in chief who -- regardless of how well he is or isn't handling the crisis -- is not known for being gifted at rhetoric. With no doubt much help, he's nailed it in the biggest moments, but there are gaps that need repairing, a big one being his repeated reliance on the notion of "justice," which at best is vague and at worst raises fears of vengeance, hypocrisy, or nerve-rattling simple-mindedness. To illustrate: determine whether each of the following statements was uttered in the past month by George W. Bush, or whether it has been enthusiastically proclaimed by that lovably dimwitted cartoon superhero, The Tick.

(A) "A great blue salmon of justice"
(B) "Bring our enemies to justice or justice to our enemies"
(C) "Hang ten for justice"
(D) "Shine the light of justice on them"
(E) "Tighten the net of justice"
(F) "The mighty tide of justice"

Highlight with your cursor to reveal the answers in the space below. (If for some reason that doesn't work, view the page source.)
The Tick: (A) (C) (F); Bush: (B) (D) (E)
* Speaking of weighty semantics, reflexively answer this question: when did the war start, Sept. 11 or Oct. 7? I suspect your attitudes about all this are greatly shaped/reflected by that thought. (My answer: Sept. 11.)

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02:37 PM Thank goodness, here again is the kind of news we had in the good ol' days: a wacky mishap involving a possibly* doped-up athlete. In this one, a Raiders placekicker bonked his eye on the floor of a nightclub. His agent says he just fell while dancing (actual quote: "You know how slippery those dance floors can be"), but that doesn't really explain the subsequent flailing about reported by police. Surprisingly, the agent did not respond to that with, "They're probably Niners fans."

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I forgot to mention in my note about the Castro Street Fair ... isn't it about time that, for a change, I go to an event where people aren't constantly handing me packets of lube?

* "Possible" is quickly emerging as the "alleged" of the 21st century -- a word used by journalists to cover their asses in lieu of reporting responsibly. If you refer to a couple of anthrax cases in Florida as a "possible" act of terrorism, then you can pretend you've actually acknowledged that there's no evidence for that link yet while you push the story to the top of the news pile and spend hours speculating about it.

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10:41 PM Friday night, while we ate Thai food, Dana was surprised to see outside what she first thought was a flash of lightning. "Could it have been fireworks?" she then asked, and we figured out that the direction of the light-burst was Pac Bell Park, and then we knew what had happened: an asshole had taken a prized sports record.

This might bug me more if I were paying any attention to sports these days, but I just can't be bothered. So there I sat, an accidental bystander to dubious history.

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Entertaining rush-hour radio on Friday: teenyboppers being put through a Backstreet Boys trivia wringer to win a backstage pass. The Backstreet knowledge that poured from the contestants' mouths was impressive, in a weird way. The winner got the big prize by knowing that Howie auditioned for the Boys under the alias "Tony Donetti."

Once upon a time, I concerned Howie my favorite Boy, but I have moved on from Backstreet preferences. Praise me.

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On the heels of last Sunday's Folsom Street Fair came today's tamer Castro Street Fair. Thus, for the second consecutive weekend, we got to play the ever-popular game Real Cop Or Play Cop?

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