'Bred Crumbs

11:25 AM How weird and cool -- Dojo Fabuloso's show tonight made The Advocate's website -- it's even linked on the front in the daily headlines. The article gets the date of the show wrong -- it's tonight, not Sunday -- and screwed up the name of our rehearsal dojo, the Academy of Fighting Arts, but, no publicity bad, right? Right?

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The Fairness Corner: David watched this week's South Park and said it was quite funny, and that its making a big deal about saying shit was a way of making fun of itself. And I should have caveated my comments -- I did not see the episode in question. Theoretically, it could have been the greatest work of satire since Gulliver's Travels (which I haven't read). And I guess it's possible that the eight or so episodes of South Park that I have seen just happened to be the eight worst episodes, and all the other ones are incisive laff riots. Sure, it's possible. As for the self-parody defense -- not buying it. You don't get to condemn what you sell yourself with. It's the same cake-and-eat-it-too thing that's kept me from seeing Fight Club all this time. People say that's good, too. Pah. People.

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02:39 PM Two opposite but equally stupid examples of how TV places too much importance on insignificant words:

1. The big promotional deal about the season premiere of South Park was that the word shit was said, apparently incessantly. See, by focusing on pointlessly rebellious stunts, the show's creators don't have to bother ever doing anything that's actually smart or funny.

2. On MTV, which I was startled to learn yesterday is again playing music videos for a couple of hours at a time, you can catch that new Weezer hit, "H*** Pipe." Because God knows what immorality might destroy our republic if Rivers Cuomo were allowed to completely pronounce that horrible word on a cable network!

So, tune in next week when Cartman calls everyone in town a "hash-hole" -- 438 times! Brilliant!

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12:29 AM At 11 p.m. on the third night after moving into my new home, enough needs and wants had piled up that I could no longer put off a three-block trip to Safeway. Herewith, a list of these necessities:

Batteries
Silverware tray
Chip clips
Dishwashing detergent (hand washing)
Dishwashing detergent (machine washing)*
Laundry detergent**
Chocolate Jell-O pudding snacks
Rum

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In case you're wondering why I haven't written more about this move, which happened this weekend, it's like this: I'm riding a roller coaster, and not the kind I wrote about the other day, and the actual move has sent the ride into overdrive. Plus, I've moved to the edge of the nation's gayest neighborhood within days of Pride Weekend, which will no doubt further ricochet me between a sense of community and a feeling of exclusion. So if I tried to set down my true thoughts, the updates would be far too frequent, and, really, it's nothing you'd want to read anyway. Later, there'll be notes on the new place and the new neighborhood and maybe the whole scary homeownership thing. But for now, I've just got to secure my loose items, keep my hands inside the car, and brace for the next hill.

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And look, there went my only reason to pull for the San Francisco Giants.

* Only to find upon returning to the place that the previous owner had left some behind.
** And dammit, I bought some just two weeks ago, but it vanished in the move, as things do.

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12:33 PM You've got to give a certain delivery service whose employees wear brown uniforms this: though it fails often, it often fails spectacularly. For example, I just used the automated shipping locator service offered on its toll-free phone line. The locator should give addresses and store hours, but it has this great glitch in which, instead of saying "a.m.," the computer inserts a long string of information about a Florida location. So, when it recites the hours of each San Francisco location, it says something like:

"Monday through Friday, 8 2501 East Commercial Boulevard, Fort Lauderdale, Florida; additional information: letter center is located in the covered parking area near the entrance, to 7 p.m.; and Saturday, 9 2501 East Commercial Boulevard, Fort Lauderdale, Florida ..."

Let's not tell them and see how long it lasts.

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