'Bred Crumbs

This is now the past. Go to the new 'Bred Crumbs.

06.01.01

12:10 AM I haven't had much Web-cruising time lately. My friend Jack doesn't have a 'blog yet. From this happy marriage of circumstance comes this delightful offspring: a bit of surrealness Jack found on the Pocket PC pages of Compaq's corporate site. As Jack notes, "How can they say FAQs don't contain useful information after reading this:"

14Q: I have trouble inserting my stylus sometimes ... it gets stuck after it's inserted only a few centimeters.
A: The stylus has an orientation to it. Please see FAQ #6 for more information.

Ah yes, I remember well what a revelation it was when I discovered my stylus has an orientation to it.

Send e-mail

05.31.01

02:52 AM

	It's a matter of choices And a matter of time For you it's a matter of drive ...
1:15 a.m. I stare at the exquisite wonder of the Golden Gate Bridge. I have just returned home from another fantastic Dealership show, and I am out at this time of night because (a) I'm way buzzed on a rare four (four!) beers, and (b) almost never can I walk around outside in San Francisco at 1:15 a.m. in shorts. It occurs to me that this is my soon-to-be-former neighborhood -- that in my forthcoming change of location, I will lose convenient access to this grand view, as well as the ability to safely (relatively) walk around my vicinity alone at this time of night. These are about the only negatives to my new locale; still, it's a loss. There it is again. Loss.
	Everything changes But change itself You can take out What you think you know Put it back on the shelf
6:30 p.m. I stare blankly at the distant cypress as I stand on the concrete brink of Spreckels Lake in Golden Gate Park. Two shocking things occur to me. (a) The incredible weather is not a panacea. Oh yes, it goes a long long long long way toward taking the edge off what dogs me -- sunny and ninety degrees is always better than not sunny and not ninety degrees -- but there are still stresses and disappointments scratching on the door. (b) I am not seeing what is in front of me. When I moved here four-point-five years ago, Golden Gate Park was a marvel to me. Now, even as I use it as an excuse to be outside this sumptuous day, I take it for granted. Which is odd, because on the way home from work around the Marin Headlands and across the Golden Gate Bridge, I reveled in the warmth and the magnificence, thinking, rightly so, So, what the hell was I complaining about? Thus, I now force myself to quit dwelling, at least momentarily, on the things gnawing at me and see what's before me -- the greenery, the beauty, the peace. It's tough, but I do it.
	And would you believe me If I'd spoken my mind 'Cause nobody gets there They just try try try
1:30 a.m. Needing for reasons unknown to concoct a material justification for my late-night walk, I head downhill to Cala to fetch Jell-O pudding. But once at the register, I realize I didn't bring money. I dispel the disappointment faster than I almost ever do. On the way home by a different route, I am confronted at the top of a hill by my birth sign, Scorpius. I ponder the dark qualities it is supposed to represent that I am loath to acknowledge. So far. And I consider the strong qualities it is supposed to represent that I have not developed. Yet.
	Everything changes But change itself Like a bird you'd sooner fly away But you're stuck in yourself ...
I am not a big fan of change. I respect the need for it, and I often eventually accept it, but I do not embrace it. This calendar year, change has swamped me like muddy water thrown by a speeding SUV, and it has left a similar taste. Whenever I complain, again, that the year has sucked, I am reminded, But you bought a home this year. Thing is, that is not a change I desired; it is a change I crafted as the best solution to a problem foisted upon me. But in time, I suspect, I will look indeed at it as a great thing, just as I will see the growth that comes out of this period as vital and beneficial. Even now, it's getting easier to overcome disappointments. Amid the gloom of the numerous losses, I can sometimes make myself see the gains of this trying time. I've got a long way to go, but I'm getting better at forward.
	Everything changes And for what you lack You keep turning Before long you're gonna find out ... -- Matthew Sweet, "Everything Changes"
Next slide.