'Bred Crumbs

This is now the past. Go to the new 'Bred Crumbs.

12.27.00

05:23 PM Best use of a slide guitar ever: Aimee Mann's "Driving Sideways."

05:21 PM Excuse me, please, as I issue a post-Christmas curse to anyone who has ever fed seagulls. Because of you, these foul fowl have been trained to expect to get food from humans who have it. So, whenever anyone sits on a bench on the concrete shore of Spreckels Lake to dine, as I did this evening amid the 'tween-holiday lull, the seagulls skulk close one by one, until one is surrounded slowly but surely much as a freshly allowanced nerd is by leather-jacketed toughs in a '50s juvenile-deliquency movie. But I was not intimidated, and the rats of the sea got nothing from me; I even took care to retrieve rice grains spilled from my burrito and put them in my trash bag lest a gull get even a drop. Ha. Goest thou back to hell whence thou came, winged vermin.

Speaking of small, bipedal irritants: not to go all W.C. Fields on you here, but don't you parents teach your children about personal space? Just as the seagull menace was abating, two tots decided they had to break a stray tree branch over the back of the bench I was sitting on. And that, though the bench was about 20 feet long, they had to perform their operation less than a foot away from me.

Argh. Thus was my enjoyment of my twilight burrito in Golden Gate Park tarnished, but not destroyed.

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12.25.00

01:01 PM In case anyone wondered: if forced to instantly choose my favorite Xmas songs, my answer would be -- discounting of course the entire soundtrack of A Charlie Brown Christmas, which it should go without saying rules all -- Joni Mitchell's "River" and Blink 182's "I Won't Be Home for Christmas." Favorite Christmas movie: Gremlins (though it seems like within the last year some other dark twisted thing set at Xmastime came out that I said at the time could be my new favorite, but I don't remember what it is now.)

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