'Bred Crumbs
09.22.05
Sour Cream "in Bed"
07:13 PMStale not-really-Chinese cookies with paper in them? So last century. The new question is: What's your sour-cream fortune?
A dairy-products company whose name is only one letter off the word "dairy" has decided that its container seals should bear what it thinks are inspirational sayings. Problem is, they're so squishy and banal that even the Successories people would flinch.
We'll ease you in with the least bad one we've encountered in our recent stroganoff-making efforts:
Choke that down*, then make sure you locate the closest toilet** before reading this:
We've gotten that one twice already, so the insight of the sour-cream people must be limited. But it doesn't matter, because on the back side of every seal, in the same tampon-rific typeface, is found their wisest advice of all:
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* Which reminds me of something hilarious that Robbie said, with a big sigh, while sifting through the special features on the Star Trek: Generations DVD and reaching an especially unpromising extended scene: "Well, I guess it's time to choke down 'Christmas with the Picards.'"
** And remember, the closest toilet may be behind you.
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Comments
(1 so far)
Appalling. This is not the way to help the world through its lactose intolerance.
– nilblogette · 1 PM
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