'Bred Crumbs

Vintage Philly Beefcake, at Thrift-store Prices

I'll admit it: I might actually watch a reality show if it has attractive gay men who aren't trying to make anyone over. Hence my limited interest in the previous season of The Amazing Race. And now, having given up on it years ago, I find myself drifting back to The Real World, which this season has not only the requisite Gay Roommate, but also a Bonus Surprise Gay Roommate.

[WARNING: Spoiler for a week-old episode follows. Hell, if you don't know already, you don't care.]

In a lot of ways, I can identify with creeping-out-of-the-closet Karamo and his desire to live his gay life on his own homeys-not-homos terms, without all the expected queer trappings. But he too often makes a point of contrasting himself to the Known Gay Roommate by dismissing Willie as "effeminate." ¿Qué? No, Willie's no fullback, but he's hardly walking around the house in tiara and heels. One of Karamo's complaints is that Willie carries a "man bag." You know, like all those sissy bike messengers.

Still, it was cool watching Karamo break the news while hanging with acceptably masculine roommates M.J. and Landon, who had no clue. Here's hoping the Philly Real World has more surprises in store, and that Landon makes it a gay trifecta (a très-fecta?). Ladies, you can have Nashville boy M.J. and his odd, wrongly assembled looks. But be warned: roommate Sarah has already done him – in her mind. Sarah's the one who wrecks the curve of what may be the most mature Real World cast ever.

M.J. does get points for apparently having an impressive collection of tacky gift-shop Shirts of the States. So far, we've seen Kentucky and Nebraska. These are exactly the kind of thing I was looking for today, as I combed thrift stores for T-shirts for the character of Patrick in our film. The catch was that I needed to find a shirt that was interesting without being distracting. Plus, no copyright logos. Oh, and our actor wears a Small.

In the fourth store I checked, I scored, finding not one but two shirts for obscure causes with limited graphic skills, both in muted monochrome tie-dyes. Along the way, I learned something I should have long ago: the difference between thrift shops and vintage-clothing stores. "Vintage" clothes are about four times the price of "thrift" clothes. Despite being pretty much the same things.

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